m9.0

As you all already know, on March 11th there was a massive earthquake in Japan that triggered an enormous tsunami. Somehow, unbelievably, the area I live in was absolutely unaffected. Sometimes I look at the map and am astonished that in such a small country, something so horrible can be happening just 1000 km from me and I can still be safe.

About half an hour after it happened, some of the sensei in my office turned on a small TV. From where we were sitting, Jamie and I could really only make out the word "tsunami" and since tsunamis are common in Japan, we didn't really think anything of it right away. It wasn't until someone on our side of the office turned on another TV behind us that we saw what was really going on. As I watched the screen, I heard the announcer say "Sendai" and my blood froze. All I could think about was my friend Leah who was living in Iwate, just 2 hours from Sendai. I immediately left the office to call her. I tried 4 or 5 times, each time getting a "call failed" message. My heart was beating so fast and my chest got really tight. She finally picked up on my 6th try. She said they lost electricity, but everything seemed to by fine.

After hearing that Leah was alright, and after I could breathe again, I went back to my desk. I saw on TV that there were fires and stuff, so I quickly wrote an email to Jen and Dad that IF they heard of an earthquake in Japan, not to worry because I was okay. At that time, I still didn't comprehend the total reality of the tsunami. It wasn't until Lisieux called me in a panic that night that I even turned on the news. For the rest of my life, I will never forget the image those black waters rushing over the land, or the way it took my breath away to see whole houses being carried away. The faces of the old people as they watched their town being destroyed. The people, the babies, that had little to no food to eat. Even the poor stranded animals they keep showing on the news will stay in my head forever. As each day passed, the damage seemed to get worse and worse. Every day the number of total dead or missing increased. I honestly couldn't sleep for a week, not only fearing that the earthquake would trigger one here in Fukuoka, but thinking of all the people who lost everything they had. I had chest pains from being so anxious, and I was so exhausted from crying/not sleeping/not eating well/worrying that I even cancelled my Japanese lesson for the week. I am not sure you can truly grasp how much I wished I could be near my family. When my Japanese teacher said "you can email or call me anytime you feel anxiety" she had no idea how much better she made me feel. After a few days, I realized that I would continue to be perfectly safe, but I still watched the news coverage every single night.

More than my own safety, I couldn't get over the tragedy of it all. On the news, I saw an elementary school that held a small graduation for the 6th graders that was very informal and somber, as most of the kids had lost their parents in the tsunami. One of the surviving mothers gave a small speech to the teachers, thanking them for getting their children to safety during the tsunami, the whole time there were tears streaming down her face. The kids look just like my students, and the idea of something hurting them or destroying their families is too much for me. I couldn't even watch the news without crying for 2 whole weeks. I'm tearing up now, just remembering it.

Even though life continues on as normal here on Kyushu, we do things every day to pay respects to those who have been suffering. Our office cancelled our bosses retirement party, and some of our schools cancelled our Graduation parties. Many Cherry Blossom festivals have been cancelled (which is a very big deal to the Japanese, as they love the cherry blossom here), and the general feeling is that no one should be celebrating when so many people are suffering. This country has such a strong sense of unity and national community. It's amazing. I know that Japan is strong, and that it will get through all this. Even though I still find myself quite literally sobbing over the tragedy sometimes, I know that the worst is behind us. I was so happy to hear that the U.S. was helping in very big ways. Some of my favorite musicians even raised money for Japan.

This past weekend, after eating breakfast, the waitress came up to me and my friends and asked where we are from. After I replied that we were American, she remarked that we were still here even though Japan was in a terrible state, and thanked us for our support in being there, and she thanked America for helping Japan during these hard times. She had tears in her eyes by the time she was finished. We didn't really know what to say. We all just kinda nodded and said thank you. I teared up later, when I thought about her words. I only wish I could do more to help.

Even though it has been very stressful, at the end of the day I am still safe and happy. I have nothing to complain about, and I am more than grateful for having been spared from this disaster. Lately, now that a little timed has passed and things are settling down, I have been watching some videos that were taken during the quake. Japanese news doesn't really show dead bodies or anything like that (out of respect), but on the internet I have seen some awful stuff. Some is too horrible to post here (like the footage of someone stuck in a car as it gets swept under the waves). But here are some of the videos that were shown on the news here in Japan: